[ Nagako curls a little tighter, not enough to be painful but definitely searching for every inch of touch she can find. ]
We regrouped as best as we could and eventually we wound up finding Alisaie and that old geezer. Lost track of the ghost with blue fire too. [ That part is easy and that part he spits out with no hesitation.
He closes his eyes. ]
That's not what I... there's a partner I made back home, her name is Rose. There's something off about her, but she's like me—really spiritually attuned. I don't know what her deal is, but after we dealt with this one spirit she asked me to go back with her to check over the house one last time. While we were there she asked me how she looked to me. It was a really fucking weird question but she was insistent.
And for a second, I saw something else. Something that wasn't fucking human. She laughed it off and said women with secrets are more alluring, but ever since then she kept implying we were the same or something every now and again.
I don't know what I did back there before I died, all I do remember is wanting to kill more and more, until all I could see is red. [ His hands are balled into fists now, teeth clenched. ]
I don't know a lot about my powers, but maybe Rose is right.
Maybe I am a monster like her.
Edited (that was a good time for my paid to die smh) 2021-10-25 01:52 (UTC)
[ He listens and listens, finding this very distasteful for someone to go through, especially those who don't experience such moments a lot. ]
You were in a different environment, Kijima Akira.
[ So a lot of what could have triggered that reaction is in this isolated situation. At least he thinks so? Overall, Joonghyuk isn't put off, but he is frustrated that Akira had to go through that. ]
Is that what you really think?
[ A monster. The question is more: is that what you want to be? ]
No I—I just don't know enough. My father was a fucking prick and I'm not gonna be anything like him, but he still gave me this power.
I can't let whatever happened there happen again, but I can't just stop using my bloodmetry either. [ This is so much worse in the face of Rin's everything this weekend, but it's fine. ]
... Just because you're his son, doesn't mean anything. You and him are different people.
[ Hm... ]
You can use your bloodmetry as a last resort case instead. I've noticed you do it when you get a chance. In ways, having such a useful ability puts you in danger.
I don't buy into that family crap, but I'd be stupid if I thought my actual blood didn't mean something.
[ He hates this, actually. ]
I know. I used it late with Revali and there wasn't really time to figure anything out. If I could get away with only using it once I would, but the evidence is never clear enough.
You have been dealt cards, but you have a choice in how you handle it. [ And that's what he thinks is most important. ] If it happens here, there are people who will stop you.
[ Joonghyuk is confident in that things will be okay? Maybe some deaths, but better than everyone dead, probably. ]
Not using your powers earlier is not your fault. We had three bodies that weekend. [ ... ] Catching these killers shouldn't rest on your shoulders and powers alone.
[ Akira is quiet, but some of the tension in Nagako loosens and relaxes. ]
...you're right. I just don't want anyone to feel sorry for me or to hesitate if that does happen. [ He would literally rather die. ]
I know it's not, but my bloodmetry is straightforward that anyone can get it. If someone writes their killers name in the sand I won't use it, but what the chances of that?
[ To say there's a smile here would be incorrect, but there is a soft emotion of some sort momentarily on his features, the lines on his face not taunt or twisted into a scowl. ]
I can't turn my bloodmetry off back home, so it's probably better to get used to it now.
I think the old geezer is probably gonna make a report, but we got a clipping from some kind of sacred tree or something. Someone called the Lord Regent chased us out, said he would be able to see even if we moved between worlds. Haven't heard a peep from him since.
Uh, maybe? Van Zieks and Alisaie were the ones who found it, me and Rin didn't get anything other than what I told you. We were with a ghost with blue fire for a while, though.
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We regrouped as best as we could and eventually we wound up finding Alisaie and that old geezer. Lost track of the ghost with blue fire too. [ That part is easy and that part he spits out with no hesitation.
He closes his eyes. ]
That's not what I... there's a partner I made back home, her name is Rose. There's something off about her, but she's like me—really spiritually attuned. I don't know what her deal is, but after we dealt with this one spirit she asked me to go back with her to check over the house one last time. While we were there she asked me how she looked to me. It was a really fucking weird question but she was insistent.
And for a second, I saw something else. Something that wasn't fucking human. She laughed it off and said women with secrets are more alluring, but ever since then she kept implying we were the same or something every now and again.
I don't know what I did back there before I died, all I do remember is wanting to kill more and more, until all I could see is red. [ His hands are balled into fists now, teeth clenched. ]
I don't know a lot about my powers, but maybe Rose is right.
Maybe I am a monster like her.
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You were in a different environment, Kijima Akira.
[ So a lot of what could have triggered that reaction is in this isolated situation. At least he thinks so? Overall, Joonghyuk isn't put off, but he is frustrated that Akira had to go through that. ]
Is that what you really think?
[ A monster. The question is more: is that what you want to be? ]
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I can't let whatever happened there happen again, but I can't just stop using my bloodmetry either. [ This is so much worse in the face of Rin's everything this weekend, but it's fine. ]
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[ Hm... ]
You can use your bloodmetry as a last resort case instead. I've noticed you do it when you get a chance. In ways, having such a useful ability puts you in danger.
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[ He hates this, actually. ]
I know. I used it late with Revali and there wasn't really time to figure anything out. If I could get away with only using it once I would, but the evidence is never clear enough.
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[ Joonghyuk is confident in that things will be okay? Maybe some deaths, but better than everyone dead, probably. ]
Not using your powers earlier is not your fault. We had three bodies that weekend. [ ... ] Catching these killers shouldn't rest on your shoulders and powers alone.
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...you're right. I just don't want anyone to feel sorry for me or to hesitate if that does happen. [ He would literally rather die. ]
I know it's not, but my bloodmetry is straightforward that anyone can get it. If someone writes their killers name in the sand I won't use it, but what the chances of that?
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[ Resolute yet in itself vague. ]
Use it how you see fit, but there will come a time someone you care for unfortunately has to pick up a blade and kill. You might have to see it.
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[ To say there's a smile here would be incorrect, but there is a soft emotion of some sort momentarily on his features, the lines on his face not taunt or twisted into a scowl. ]
I can't turn my bloodmetry off back home, so it's probably better to get used to it now.
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Just make sure you stay close to Dokja or I, in case anyone tries attacking you.
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[ This isn't a no either, but he will realize after this weekend it's a smart move to make considering Yukio and the gun.
As for the smile, it is the result of someone who puts everyone else first, no matter what airs they put on. ]
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[ But numbers make it easier to overwhelm someone else, in the end. ]
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I just wish shit was simple. The rest of the stuff we saw on that mountain didn't make any sense to me either.
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[ Since he doesn't think his own trip was relevant to Ahnkeen. ]
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[ There was a lot but also it was so much. ]
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[ He understands shit being too much, no problem. ]
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[ What is religion sorry he is dumb. ]
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[ It's fine. People make religion dumb. ]
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The old geezer's got a picture of a mural too.