bloodread | SCHE;

[ the irony of sche divulging this much to this specific person. ]

I am aware. I would like to be less selfish, but I'm afraid that even if I try, I will still be too scared to be anything else. I made great strides once I had made friends, but I'm back at square one.

[ because her bestie back home had done all the heavy lifting in their relationship and didn't care that sche was a sad sack. lol. ]

[ I can't believe Akira is stabbing Sche today and I forgot. ]

So what, are you just gonna sit around and be miserable? If you're fine with that whatever, but expecting shit to happen without doing anything is for idiots who believe in Happily Ever Afters.

[ rip. ]

[ but, no, that actually gets a tiny smile to play on her lips. ]

You remind me of someone that I met before.

Huh? Who?

[ Like you would know who they are Akira. ]

A man who tried very hard to get me to smile. [ hm. mysterious! ]

I don't think either of you are wrong to say the things that you did. Still, I wonder if it'll ever be easy to let go of my thoughts and have a contented life. What about you? Are you content?

Yeah, that's not me.

[ Look at his ever present scowl. ]

...what part of this entire clusterfuck would make me content?

[ her smile turns a bit more coy. ]

Now I believe we are on the same page.

[ ! ]

OK, but I'm not anxious or nervous about it like you are. [ Just carry your stress internally until you snap Sche it's fine. ]

[ sir that isnt healthy ]

So you just accept the things that are happening around us?

[ Totally is! ]

Do you think using my bloodmetry is accepting?

[ there is a measured pause, then: ]

I think that, for whatever reason, you are hiding your true feelings.

Come the fuck again?

[ you gonna put him on blast just say it! ]

[ you activated her trap card! except no because he scared her a little with the severity of that question. ]

I did not say that because I was expecting you to divulge anything about yourself. I am sorry if I upset you.

[ but it does kinda prove her point... ]

[ sche.. pats her. ]

No, explain.

It's just, you know... in stories, when there is a loner role, usually that character is emotionally isolated for one reason or another.

If you keep your true feelings hidden, you cannot be vulnerable.

Yeah? What does it say about only being close to a few people but having those few people constantly used against you? Does that fit with the "loner" role too?

[ She's not entirely wrong, granted. ]

Yes, actually.

[ sure, she doesn't want to aggravate him further, so she would have said yes regardless, but. ]

I am not going to pretend to know you, or the intricacies of your life. I am merely a storyteller that is familiar with archetypes.

[ Kinda wrong answer, but there really wasn't a right one. ]

So I gotta have a tragic backstory, huh? That's why I don't like people?

My mother gave birth to me and that's about where her mothering stopped, she was always in and out doing who the hell knows what while my Aunt covered for her. My father wasn't in the picture but it turns out he was a fucking psychopath who killed girls anyway. I grew up poor, but once I figured out what the hell I was actually good at, I used that to get my own place. Japan can outlaw fighting rings all it wants, but just like the Yakuza, it's not going anywhere.

If you're trying to tell me I'm a fucked up person, I already know. But I don't stay away from people cause I'm scared or tired of being hurt or whatever. And I'm not trying to hide my "vulnerabilities", everyone knows who I'm close to back home and they probably know here too.

I don't have time for a lot of people and there's others who are way better suited to holding everyone's hand like Xie Lian. But I'm not hiding fucking anything, no matter what you fucking think.

I'm sorry.

[ This isn't one of her pitiful, fearful apologies. This is one of sympathy. ]

I simply read you as one that does not prefer company of others. I would never insist that you need to be tragic, or "fucked up." Usually when people isolate themselves, that is as a means of protection. If you wanted to make time for people, you could have.

But I will apologize again for reading you incorrectly. I did not mean to imply anything by it.

[ i can't believe akira got sche to say the f word ]

...it's fine.

[ He shakes his head. ]

I don't have an interest in being pitied. And I know stuff's wrong with me or whatever, but that doesn't mean I want to be fixed.

Thank you for sharing your story with me. You may not mind it, but I still appreciate it. I don't think there's anything wrong with you, but I suppose that's just another unsolicited opinion, isn't it?

[ A huff that's almost a laugh. ]

Yeah, yeah. [ Whatever's left of his beer he throws it back and then gets up from the stool, gathering Nagako around his arm. ]

Bars make people too chatty.

I can't disagree.

[ there's the tiniest little laugh. her cosmo has been long gone for a while now. ]

This story has reached its conclusion. I'll be taking my leave. Thank you for the drink.

SCHE;

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